Title: My Love is Strong Enough Whenever You Fall.
Word Count: 18,000+ total.
Summary: She had never been more upset or more disappointed in herself than the day she found out she was pregnant. Everything was completely shattered. AU Finchel.
Author's Notes: Thank you for reading if you struck through this monster of a fic! :)
‘Finn, we need to talk’ was probably the most cliché thing she had ever said. But she couldn’t even last a day thinking about what she had realised at the ultrasound. She had been staring at the photograph the doctor had given her of her beautiful baby girl all day, and she called Finn over to tell him everything she had been thinking about.
“Are you okay, Rachel?” He asked, coming up to her and wrapping his arms around her. “You sounded pretty upset on the phone.” He frowned. “Babe, have you been crying?”
She pulled herself out of his arms. She didn’t want to get sucked into everything Finn right now. “N-No, I have to- I can’t do this.” She said, putting her head in her hands and leaning against the wall. She knew all the emotions are going to come rushing through because of her baby hormones. And the worst thing was she was going to hurt him, and that was something she promised herself she would never do.
“Rachel… please tell me what’s going on…” He said cautiously, he was beginning to get suspicious and Rachel couldn’t blame him. She was going to be completely horrible to him but part of her knew he wasn’t going to hate her for it. That was the worst.
“I saw the way you looked at her. My baby. I see the way you act whenever I say my stomach hurts or I need to go be sick. I notice how much you talk about her. I see the way you look at that picture of her from the ultrasound,” she could feel the tears coming, and she didn’t even bother stopping them as they came flowing down her face followed by thick, heavy sobs. “And you don’t look at me like that at all.” She cried out, turning away from him and taking a few deep breaths. This already wasn’t going well, and she didn’t want to look at his face.
“Rachel, come on… I don’t understand.” She could hear him coming closer to her but she only took a few more steps away. She knew that if she turned around or looked at him that she would get sucked in all over again and she would forgive him right away. She knew she wasn’t able to resist him so she stood exactly where she was, not turning around at all.
“You’re obsessed with this baby, Finn. You love her. I know you do. And you’ve never expressed any interest in me whatsoever before I was pregnant. All you do is talk about the baby. Baby this, baby that.” She turned to face him. “You’re in love with this baby, and you’re not in love with me. The only reason you’re with me is because of this baby that isn’t even yours!” She yelled at him through her tears, and her theory was only further proven when his face fell at the realisation. He was told every day that the baby wasn’t his, and now she knew that it killed him inside whenever he said it. What if it was his? Was he going to run off with her after she was born and just leave Rachel behind? For a split second, she was glad that the baby was hers, and the father wanted no interest in her whatsoever.
“Rachel, that’s a lie. You know that. O-Of course I love the baby, but you’ve gotta know –”
“No,” she raised her hand and stopped him from speaking. She didn’t want him to tell her he loved her just because of this. She wanted him to mean it and she wanted it to be real. But that was never going to happen. “I’m breaking up with you, Finn. It may seem unfair now, but one day you’ll have children of your own and then you’ll really know what it’s like to love a woman.” She tried to keep a straight face, but inside every single part of her was tearing up. She may be hurting him, but she knew she was right. Finn had never done anything remotely romantic or special with her before she became pregnant. They were strictly best friends, and he became so caring and flirty. She felt disgusted with herself for getting pregnant in the first place, but even more horrified at the fact that Finn felt more for a baby that he did for her. She felt dirty for falling for his tricks in the first place.
“No! Rachel, please, come on. Why can’t we talk about this?” Finn pleaded with her, and she could see the hint of tears forming in his eyes. She couldn’t watch this anymore; she had to admit he was a good actor.
“Leave, Finn.” Rachel said through gritted teeth, even though all she wanted to do was throw herself into his arms and plead for him to stay. Just to kiss him and hold him and tell him to never leave her. Just to be with her forever and to forget everything she had said to him. She was scared of being without him, but she knew she didn’t have a choice. She had ignorant for long enough; she couldn’t just pretend this wasn’t happening anymore. She couldn’t be in a loveless relationship – she had told herself that a long time ago. She was born to be on Broadway; an actress. She knew when a feeling was real, and when it wasn’t.
“No! Rachel, we’re going to talk about this. You can’t just walk away from everything we’ve been through. How the hell do you think I don’t love yo-”
“Finn Hudson, if you don’t leave this house right now I will call the police.” Rachel said sternly, turning away from him once more so she didn’t have to see his heart breaking and his torn expression as he left the house without another word.
He knew Rachel, and if he didn't leave he knew she really would call the police. He didn’t even slam the front door behind him, he wasn’t even mad; he was just completely torn apart.
As Rachel reached 20 weeks, she was feeling incredibly good. Sure, she didn’t realise how tough it really was without someone helping her almost 24/7 like Finn had, but she was managing quite well. Of course she still had morning sickness, and she felt completely alone, but she had finally plucked up the courage to ask her dads for money. They had since accepted the situation and decided to even put money into her college fund for her; just in case she decided she did want to go some day. She couldn’t have asked for better parents.
It had been two slow, torturous months without Finn though; and every time she passed him in the hallway or even had the same class as him, it was hell. Sometimes she would even forget they had broken up, and she would go to meet him by his truck after school so he could drive her home, but then she would realise he was already gone. She looked in the mirror every night, and she could see she was beginning to show in her stomach. Every time she looked in the mirror, or even just down at her stomach, she thought of him and how excited he would be.
It made her sick to think that the only reason he looked after her was to make sure the baby stayed safe.
She had a lot of dreams about him too. One that always stuck in her mind was she dreamt she was having the baby, but also dying during childbirth. And once the baby was born, her last vision was of Finn holding and talking to the baby and not even paying attention to the fact that she was dying on the bed right in front of him.
The worst part is she thought he was her soulmate. She had always wondered what it was like to fall in love with her best friend, and now that she had, she had a feeling she would never be able to let that go. She didn’t know how she was going to move on without him. He was the only one that supported her throughout the pregnancy. She had never felt more alone. Plus, people at school were going to start noticing her belly, and then everyone would know.
She had to stay strong though. She had been alone before her pregnancy and she could handle being alone through and after her pregnancy too. The only bad thing now was, she was having second thoughts about keeping the baby. After Finn and her got together, she had no doubt in her mind that she was going to be able to do it – be a parent with Finn by her side. But at 17, she realised being a student, as well as a single parent was going to be impossible. And that’s when she picked up her first brochure on the procedures of adoption.
When Finn spoke to her for the first time again; it wasn’t exactly what she expected. She was at her locker; getting her things for her next class when he came up to her with a tired expression on his face and the sadness was still in his eyes. It made her heart shatter to pieces all over again.
She decided to just be a little sympathetic, considering she was the one that broke up with him. “Finn…? Are you doing okay? You look a little pale.” Rachel reached up with her hand to brush his hair away from his forehead before placing her hand there.
“Save it, Rachel.” He sighed. “You and I both know you don’t care about me anymore.”
“I am genuinely offended by that accusation!” She scoffed at him, pulling her hand away from his face. “Of course I care about you, Finn, I’ve only been watching you for months! I see the way you get sometimes when you’re sad, and you’re like that all the time now.” She crossed her arms over her chest, but she couldn’t help feel the familiar tug of her heart pulling her to him. She just wanted to be in his arms again. “And anyway, this is your fault to begin with. You just don’t love me.” She choked up a little but she composed herself.
He shook his head, letting out a sigh. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue with you. I just wanted to give you this.” Finn said, pulling out a small green blanket that was folded into a size of the palm of his hand.
Rachel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he handed it over to her and she looked down at the tiny piece of cloth in her hands.
“It’s my gee-gee.” He shrugged. “I had it when I was a kid; it’s a little old and worn and stuff but… I think our-your kid should have it.” He said, shrugging again and showing a small crooked smile. “I mean, you don’t have to, I was just –”
“I’m giving her up for adoption.” She whispered suddenly, looking up at him with now tear filled eyes. “I-I can’t do this on my own, Finn, and this is incredibly sweet but I don’t think she’ll be able to have it if I’m giving her away to someone else.” She said, wiping her eyes before feeling a comforting hand on her arm. She finally looked up at him and could see the hurt in his eyes. She knew he’d react badly to that news.
“I-You can’t give her up for adoption, Rachel. Please. You just can’t.”
“Finn, you lost the right to decide what happens to my child. Actually, you never had the right in the first place because I’ve told you a thousand times and I’ll tell you again, she’s not yours. You’re not going to be a father, Finn. Okay? Now, I can’t have this if I’m giving her up for adoption, I’m sorry.” She told him quickly, trying to push the blanket back into his hands, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Just… keep it. You never know, you might need it when you get knocked up by the next football player.” He spat, backing away before she could give the blanket back to him. His words didn’t hurt her as much as she thought they would. It was her fault all of this was happening. Finn wouldn’t have fallen in love with the baby if she hadn’t gotten pregnant in the first place. It was all just a mess and now she knew for sure that Finn hated her.
As she was shoving the blanket frustratingly into her locker, something fell out of it. It was small and round and silver and a small diamond sat on top of it. When she realised what it was, her breathing became shallow and her knees became weak, but before she could demand to Finn what it was, he had already disappeared out of the hallway.
It took Rachel quite a while to confront Finn about the ring; because she didn’t know at first if she wanted to give it back or not. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, and she found herself playing with it a lot. She would stare at it, and smile at the fact that Finn went shopping for this for her. She hoped it was just a ring. An apology, maybe? (But who would buy a diamond ring as an apology? Especially in Lima?) Maybe a promise ring, even though that sounded like a stretch. She hoped it was nothing more than that because she wouldn’t have a clue as to what her answer would be if it was. She might have been mad at him and hurt that he chose an unborn child over her but that didn’t change the fact that she was so deeply in love with him. It hadn’t gone away after three months since they had broken up.
She put it on a chain to wear around her neck; she didn’t dare put it on any of her fingers. What if the entire thing was a mistake and the ring was for some other girl? He was probably freaking out because he had lost it, but Finn hadn’t come to her since. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t really seen Finn since either. It had been a couple of weeks, and he was only in class sometimes and other times he was out on the football field. Besides that he didn’t see him at all. He had stopped coming to Glee Club rehearsals a long time ago. The New Directions had accepted that Rachel couldn’t sing lead at Regionals anymore because it would look bad for them in front of the judges, because she was really beginning to show now, and she got three times as many slushies as she used to.
The worst part was that she enjoyed wearing the chain. She enjoyed the way the ring looked and she liked how she felt when she had it on. She felt wanted by someone and she felt like she was worth something more than just the pregnant teenager. And a few times she wondered what it would look like on her left ring finger, but she didn't dare put it on. For all she knew, she could've been right and it might have been a mistake. Either way, she needed to talk to him about it. She didn't want to avoid him forever either. She loved him too much; despite everything that had happened between them.
After the fourth day in a row of not seeing him at all at school, she decided that that afternoon she was going to confront him. She knew the right thing to do would be to give the ring back but she was so attached to it already that she knew she really didn't want to.
The next thing she knew was that she was standing out the front of his door - pacing back and forth and wondering what in the world she was going to say. How embarrassed was she going to be if the whole ring thing was a mistake? She had only been holding it and staring at it for the past week and she would just be humiliated if it wasn't actually hers. But who else's would it be? Finn didn't really hang around many girls and he wasn't really the type to buy something so expensive for someone he had just met. Maybe it wasn't a mistake and maybe he really was sorry for everything that had happened.
That thought gave her the courage to finally knock on the door, and she shoved her hands - and the ring - in her pocket before the door opened and there stood Kurt.
"Oh, it's you." He said lightly, and Rachel frowned. He didn't say it in a rude way, but he sounded indifferent, which was probably worse than being rude. He didn't care; she had hurt his step-brother.
"I-Is Finn here? I'd like to see him if he is."
"He is here but I don't think that's a good idea, Rachel. Especially now. You do realise he has probably moved on by now, with another girl? He doesn't talk to me about it; of course, he's usually holed up in his room so he probably doesn't have anyone new." He said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "But still, you really hurt him Rachel."
If only he knew. "Please? It won't take long. I just have to talk to him about something. I-It's baby related." She lied, hoping that would make Kurt let her in.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “That’s even worse. You ban him from the baby’s life and now you want to burden him with another one of your pathetic problems? Leave him alone.”
“Kurt, it’s okay,” came a soft, but tired voice from behind Kurt. Rachel looked behind him to see it was Finn, and as soon as their eyes met she was greeted with a small smile. “Let her in. I think I need to talk to her anyway.”
Yes, you do. Rachel easily moved past Kurt, who only rolled his eyes and muttered something to himself about Finn giving second chances too easily and moved away from the door.
“Come on,” Finn said gently, taking Rachel by the hand and leading her upstairs to his room. She didn’t pull away and she didn’t want to.
Once they were safely behind closed doors, Rachel bit her lip, suddenly incredibly nervous about what she was going to say, and more importantly what he was going to say about it in return. He turned to her and took in a deep breath, something she knew that he did when he was really nervous. She wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged herself, looking down at the floor before she spoke.
“I haven’t seen you at school.” Her voice was soft, almost timid. She knew that small talk wasn’t going to work very well in this situation. They had to get to the hard stuff eventually. “I just... I miss you, Finn. Not just as my boyfriend but as my best friend. Maybe it’s just the baby hormones making me completely crazy,” she chuckled humourlessly, “but I really do miss you.”
His worried expression immediately softened, and he stepped forward to take her hand in his. His hand was warm covering hers, and it immediately made her feel comfortable and safe. He was the only one who had ever been able to make her feel that way. He pulled her gently to the bed, and they sat so close to each other that their knees were touching. It would seem like a weird thing to do, right? After not speaking for such a long time? But it felt so natural to the two of them; they had always been comfortable, no matter what the situation.
“I miss you,” he murmured suddenly, and Rachel let out an audible sigh of relief. So she wasn’t completely out of her mind after all. Their eyes met and God, there really wasn’t much stopping Rachel from throwing herself into his arms. It’s all she had wanted for weeks now and she was holding back so much it was unbelieveable. “But I just… I couldn’t see you. The ring… it was…”
“So it is mine, then?” She asked suddenly. Hopefully, even. She desperately wanted to know, but what she wanted more was for it to really be hers. She didn’t want it to be a mistake and she certainly didn’t want for it to be for another girl. She didn’t think she would be able to take that. “Th-The ring, I mean. It’s mine?” She asked softly, her hand instinctively moving into her pocket to retrieve the ring.
“Of course it’s yours, Rach.” He sighed, staring down at the silver as she pulled it out of her pocket. “There’s no one else I could give it to. There’s no one else I would give it to.” He looked away for a moment, sorting through his thoughts so he could try and figure out what the hell he was supposed to say to her now. “It freaked me out… so I gave it to you secretly so you wouldn’t really know I was giving it to you.” He shrugged slightly. “And since it freaked me out so much, I figured it would freak you out too, so that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. And school.”
Rachel’s eyebrows furrowed gently in confusion (and Finn tried not to think of it as adorable while he watched her). “I don’t understand…” She said; her voice so soft that Finn could hardly hear it. “What does it mean? What is it?”
Finn’s eyes widened in surprise. “I-I thought it was obvious.” He stuttered, and Rachel could feel her stomach twisting in knots. “It’s… Rachel, it’s supposed to be an engagement ring…”
“I-I’m sorry?” She asked, wide-eyed. She couldn’t believe it. She refused to believe it. “Finn, I -”
“Just… don’t say anything, okay?” He asked with a gentle smile. After everything, Finn was still just her cuddly teddy bear of a best friend who had always supported her through everything. He took the ring out of her tiny hands and moved off the bed so he could get down on one knee in front of her.
Tears immediately sprung in Rachel’s eyes and she shook her head. “Stand up, Finn. Don’t do this. You don’t love me.”
To Rachel’s surprise, all Finn did was give her a crooked smile. “You don’t know the first thing about me, Rachel Berry.” He shifted a little, like he was nervous and he knew I do love you. All I’ve ever done is love you. But what was I supposed to say when you come to me accusing of loving your child more than you? Y-Yeah, I think I love your kid, but I could never love her more than you,” he shook his head, looking up at her with soft eyes. “You were right, she’s not mine, and I really have no right to be around you just because of her. But now I want to be around you because of you. Because I’m so God damn in love with you and I just want to marry you someday. It doesn’t have to be any time soon but… someday.” He chuckled nervously. “I know you deserve a big, fancy proposal but… I just want you to know that I do love you. A lot more than you realise. And you don’t even have to say yes to this,” he shrugged. “I’ll have plenty more times to try.” He teased, smirking slightly.
Rachel just stared at him, a loving smile spread across her face as she bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. She didn’t think she could say yes but just the look on his face made her want to hold him and never let him go ever again. She sighed, looking down slightly and pushing the ring back into his hands and his hands towards his lap. “I can’t accept something like this, Finn. Not now. Not with this baby coming soon. Maybe we can… see how things go? Maybe we can just try being in love before jumping straight to being engaged,” she giggled, moving to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry, Finn,” she whispered to him quietly. “But don’t give up. I really want to be able to say yes one day.”
Finn would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little disappointed at her answer. He wished he was better prepared; maybe if he made her dinner again or took her out to a fancy restaurant somewhere she’d say yes. But then he realised that maybe she was telling the truth, and she just wasn’t ready for it at all. It made sense, her mind would be all about the baby, and he would expect that to be right. He didn’t want her to be thinking about anything else. It was foolish of him to think she would say yes. He smiled at her though, she was going to say yes to him one day – he would make sure of it.
“I love you, Finn.” She said gently, pulling back so she could look at him, biting her lip as she leaned in closer to him.
“I love you too,” he breathed as their lips touched for the first time in months.
Rachel realised that actually being in love with and sharing her love with Finn was much better than their relationship before. She could completely trust him now, and he was actually making a genuine effort to show his love for not only her, but the baby as well. It was an equal balance, and Rachel was loving every minute they were spending together. There was one thing plaguing her mind though – the real father of the baby. She knew he wasn’t going to come forward – mostly because he was probably just as drunk as she was and he probably doesn’t remember not using a condom when he had sex with a random football player. And most people at school thought it was Finn’s baby anyway. What worried her was what Finn thought about it.
They were in love, they had completely established that already, but she wondered when things were going to get serious in a physical way. Their make out sessions got very hot and heavy quickly, and Finn normally had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of her. She thought the reaction he had to her body and her touch was quite sexy herself, but he didn’t like her seeing it. Maybe it was because he was a virgin.
Virgin. The word made her feel sick to the stomach. Her belly was a nine month reminder that she was no longer a virgin, and her first time and her first child was because of a drunken mistake at a party. Not that her and Finn’s (yes, she was now referring to her little girl as theirs instead of just her own) child was going to be a mistake; they were going to give it as much love and care as they possibly could.
A few days after Finn and Rachel got back together, Finn had made up a speech that thoroughly convinced Rachel that they would be good parents and that they shouldn’t put their little girl up for adoption. She knew that it was probably the responsible thing to do if they wanted to go to college and have a future, but Rachel knew she was going to take one look at that sweet, innocent baby girl’s face and she wasn’t going to be able to hand her over to some couple she didn’t know. She couldn’t. She was already far too attached to her child, and she knew Finn was too. It just wasn’t going to happen. Her dads and Finn’s parents didn’t know of their plans yet though; they thought they were still looking for a suitable family to give her too. Rachel didn’t care if her and Finn had to run away in order to raise her without their parents knowing, she was going to do whatever it took for her child.
It was strange how becoming a mother could change her mindset so quickly, and put her into a completely maternal mode.
Still, she guessed that because Finn was a virgin, he was embarrassed to talk about things of a sexual nature with her. Or maybe he was being a gentleman and was waiting until she gave him the all clear. She knew she should probably be embarrassed as well, but it seemed immature, and she had a lot of growing up to do if she was going to raise this baby.
But she was going to make sure her first time with Finn was a) not going to be about the baby and b) going to be so amazing that she was going to forget her first time with that random jerk of a football player ever happened. She was glad the opportunity came sooner than expected.
One lazy afternoon while her dads were at work, Rachel invited Finn over to watch some movies together. ‘Movies’ was always a code word for something more when it came to the two of them. They hadn’t been able to sit through a whole movie without touching or kissing since they had gotten back together. What could she say? They were two young teenagers who were completely in love with each other. Plus Rachel’s baby hormones made her ten times hornier, but she didn’t want to admit that to Finn. Though he sort of guessed as much anyway.
Right on cue, Finn’s hand travelled down to Rachel’s ass, cupping gently through the fabric of her sweatpants as she lay on top of him, her hips steadily grinding into his in a teasing manner. Rachel reached behind her, taking the hand that was on her butt and moving it underneath her shirt before guiding it to her breast.
Finn stopped kissing her, his eyes widening. “You’re not wearing a bra.” He stated dumbly.
“Or panties,” she breathed hotly against his mouth. Sometimes it was hard to be sexy when you looked like a whale and spent most of your mornings throwing up, so Rachel tried to make up for it in other ways she knew he would enjoy. “Finn, I want you.” She breathed, pulling back so she could pout at him. “I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the fact that I’m just so ready for you, but I really want to do this with you, Finn.” She blushed. “I want to be able to have that connection with you. I’ve never felt this strongly about it before.” She smiled softly at him, leaning down to kiss him sensually again.
What she didn’t expect, however, was for Finn to push her away gently and look up at her with shy eyes. “I had sex.”
“I’m sorry?” She asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion.
“With Santana Lopez. I had sex.”
Rachel felt like she was going to throw up all over him, like her morning sickness had come back at a really, really bad time. Her stomach was churning and she could feel the colour draining from her face,
As if realising what he had done, Finn lifted his hands up and shook his head. “Oh! God, no, Rach. It was last summer.” He shook his head. “It was long before you and I ever got together, I promise. God, no, Rachel I’d never cheat on you. I’m sorry.” He frowned, knowing he could’ve definitely worded that better to save his girlfriend from a heart attack. “The point is…” He said quietly. “I’m not a virgin like I know you think I am. And the reason I haven’t mentioned… doing anything is because Santana told me I was terrible at sex and I don’t want to disappoint you. Especially since… you know, you’ve had a tiny bit of experience.”
After finally calming down from the fact that Finn didn’t actually cheat on her, all she could do was let out a small giggle. “Finn, baby, with you it’ll be so perfect, don’t you see? I’m in love with you, Finn. Experience or not, it’s going to be perfect because we’ll be making love, not just having sex.” She shook her head , a small smile still stuck on her face. He really was the most adorable boyfriend a girl could have. He was perfect.
Finn smiled warmly at her. “You’re the best girlfriend ever.” He told her and she smiled proudly, leaning down slowly only to kiss him hotly again. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asked her gently, knowing that she wasn’t a virgin, but still wanting to make sure that this is what she wanted. “I mean, I know you love me but are you sure you want it to be right now? Won’t sex be a little hard with the… you know… baby and all?” He asked, and he wondered if he sounded nervous because he certainly felt like it.
Rachel could only smirk though when he mentioned sex being hard with her being pregnant. “Baby, that’s why I get to go on top,” she whispered with a wink, slipping her hands up his chest and looking into his eyes. Finn noticed them darken as he watched her carefully. “Also I heard a rumour that sex when pregnant is good for the baby. I don’t know why but,” she shrugged, making sure he stayed sitting up as she climbed further on to his lap. “I think it’s a good idea either way.” She gave him a seductive smile before lowering her mouth to his, then moving along his jaw and down his neck. Her hands moved from his chest to under his shirt, slowly sliding it off and not even bothering to ask for permission.
He seemed hesitant at first, and Rachel pulled back, giving him a loving smile, her hand reaching up to caress his face gently.
“Trust me, Finn. I do want this. More than anything. I want us.” She told him with a nod, and he finally pulled her back down to meet her lips with his. Their tongues tangled gently, and he allowed only a second apart so she could pull his shirt over his head. He fumbled with the hem of her shirt, and in that moment she realised just how in love with him she really was. He was so adorable, even in a moment like this. She was so glad she was doing this with him.
Finn’s eyes widened once her shirt was tossed away and he was seeing her breasts for the first time. He felt his breath catch in his throat and he didn’t really know what to say.
Rachel felt less than desirable, like she felt she needed to cover up. She thought she would be okay with the whole ‘being naked in front of her boyfriend while pregnant’ thing, but she felt so self-conscious. She used to be skinny and slim and toned, and now she was just so… large. Even her breasts had increased in size – which she thought would be something Finn would enjoy – but they were far too sensitive for anything.
As if reading her mind, Finn took her hand and made sure she was looking into his eyes before he spoke. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful. And you’re carrying a baby, another human life, who is also going to be beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful.” He breathed, gently brushing his lips against hers. He knew that he would be only looking and not touching, and he was looking forward to when her breasts were no longer sensitive and could be touched. He just wanted to make her feel good.
“I love you, Finn. Thank you,” she whispered, still feeling slightly nervous, her stomach churning at the thought of disappointing him.
“You’re welcome, babe. I love you too.”
They resumed slowly, making sure to get Finn out of his jeans and boxers before settling back down on his lap, the only thing separating them being her sweatpants and panties. Though it wasn’t the first penis she had seen, Finn’s was by far the most impressive. Maybe she was a little bit biased though. She giggled, her fingers gently gliding along his length as she stared at him in awe. “I think you’re the beautiful one, Mr. Hudson.” She bit her lip with a smile when he smiled at her, moaning slightly at her touch.
She helped as much as she could in getting herself out of her sweatpants and panties. She got in as much pregnancy exercise as she could, to make sure she wasn’t gaining weight anywhere else other than her stomach. Obviously she had to give up her vegan diet to provide nutrients for the baby, but she tried to eat as little meat as possible.
It didn’t really help her confidence when all Finn could do was stare at her once she was completely naked on top of him. “Um, Finn?” She asked gently, her nerves suddenly rushing back. “Can you maybe not… stare?” She blushed, and he looked up at her with an innocent look on his face that only made her giggle.
“Sorry, babe, you’re just… you’re perfect, okay?” He said gently with a smile, leaning up to kiss her lovingly.
She was glad they weren’t just ripping each other’s clothes off and going at it, she was glad to be able to go slow and make love to him. It was what she wanted her first time to be like, and according to her, her actual first time didn’t really count. She didn’t even remember who it was with, so to her, it was always going to be Finn to give that to her. “No, it’s okay.” She said just as softly. “I just want to do it.” She blushed heavily again, laughing quietly.
“O-Okay… then let’s do it.”
Rachel lifted herself up slightly with some difficulty. She had a feeling this was going to be a lot harder than she thought; since she was around 24 weeks now. Normally she would have made Finn wear a condom for safety reasons (he had slept with Santana Lopez after all) but she trusted Finn, and from what she could see he looked very… healthy.
Finn thought that the whole world had stopped moving when she finally sank on to him. They both let out simultaneous moans and Rachel buried her face in Finn’s neck, biting gently on his bare shoulder. It hurt a tiny bit, she wasn’t going to lie, since it was only her second time, but there was an immense amount of pleasure as well, that completely overtook the pain.
“G-God, Finn…” She breathed, after he had made sure she wasn’t in too much pain and he began slowly thrusting his hips up. Her hands moved to his hair, tugging on it gently and fisting it when he began hitting just the right spot. It’s like he knew what turned her on and that made her even more worked up.
Finn let out a groan, the pleasure he was feeling was something much more than when he had sex with Santana the year before. This was love. He was in love with this girl and it felt so amazing that he didn’t think he was going to be able to last long at all. That made him feel slightly bad, but you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Her hands were gripping his hair and her face was buried in her neck as she nipped at certain points of his skin. His head was tilted back against the couch’s pillow, groaning as he felt himself going further inside her. “Rachel, baby…” He moaned, his eyes closed from the pleasure. “God, please, I’m close, Rachel. Rachel.” He hissed when she began rotating her hips slightly, letting out small whimpers that only made the feeling that was building up stronger.
“Finn please,” she whined, gripping his hair even tighter and her back arching as much as it could before Finn completely lost it, emptying inside of her and the warmth that spread throughout her body was followed by the most incredible thing she had ever felt in her entire life. She cried out his name into his neck, and shuddered before collapsing on top of him, not even having the energy to pull herself off him.
After a few minutes of Rachel cuddling into his chest in silence, Finn was the first to speak up. “Was it worth it?” He asked gently, and he knew she knew what he was referring to.
“Yeah. Was it worth it for you?”
“Of course it was, babe.” He said quietly, pressing a kiss to her hair. Her forehead was covered in a thin layer of sweat and Finn smirked, knowing that he made her feel like that filled him with pride.
“It was so worth it that I think we should do it more often,” Rachel suggested innocently, pulling back from him so she could give him a cheeky look.
“I second that.” Finn said and Rachel giggled.
She wasn’t expecting to go into labour when she did.
It had been over three months since her and Finn got together, and Rachel had never been happier in her entire life. For once, her entire life didn’t revolve around the tiny person growing inside of her. She could focus on herself and her music as well, which was something she had neglected since she had become pregnant. Finn supported her in so many ways (and the sex was pretty damn fantastic too) including re-joining Glee Club and talking to Mr. Schuester about giving Rachel a solo at Regionals in the form of writing her own songs. Song writing was good for her, and Finn helped her quite a bit, and he was actually really good at it himself. She really hoped that one day, once all of this was over, she would be able to perform songs of her own creation to an audience.
She was early, when she went into labour. Rachel could barely do anything on her own anymore, which frustrated her slightly, but Finn was more than happy to help her with everything she needed. She had even taught him how to cook vegan food, and he could now do it without burning it. But a lot of the time, Rachel just wanted to relax on the couch with Finn. Normally they would choose her bed, but getting up the stairs was a struggle at the best of times. He didn’t want to cause her any discomfort, so Finn would let her curl into his side as they watched countless movies and TV shows together – all of her choosing, of course.
This time, they had decided that they were going to watch the Notebook (for the umpteenth time), and since her hormones made her emotions wild, she cried the entire way through, even though it wasn’t a sad part.
She should have noticed the contractions when she began getting them, but she just thought that since it was close to the due date, she would be feeling more pain and discomfort than normal. But suddenly, in the middle of the movie, she just burst into tears, and even she didn’t really know why at first.
“Rachel?” Finn asked, sitting up and turning to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay? Baby, it’s not even a sad part. This is one of the happiest parts.” He chuckled.
She shook her head, clinging to him tightly and letting out another sob when she realised why she was crying in the first place.
“F-Finn, my water just broke, Finn I’m having the baby, she’s coming the b-baby’s coming.” She said, panic-stricken, and Finn, surprisingly calm about the whole thing, nodded slowly and left her to grab the bag they had packed for the hospital.
Finn didn’t think he would go through this much pain considering Rachel was the one giving birth, not him. It felt like she was going to cut all the blood supply off from his hand as well as dislocate his arm at the same time. He guessed it was a good thing they were in a hospital.
She held his hand so tightly as if he would disappear if she let go, and she needed him. As the doctors kept telling her to push, she kept thinking of all the amazing things that had happened while she was pregnant, and she was incredibly scared. Scared that Finn would be uninterested in her once the baby was born. She just had to wait and see. But for the time being, she was going to hold on to him (literally) because she knew that if she lost him now she would completely fall apart. Rachel Berry had always been about her music and Broadway and her future, but now her life revolved around Finn and this child. At least until she could get back on her feet.
Rachel lost count of how long she was in labour for, but once it was finally over, she had never been more relieved. She breathed heavily for several minutes as she lay back in the bed, her eyes closed. She didn’t want to move a muscle, but she could still feel Finn’s hands covering hers. He had been sitting in the chair next to her the entire time. He didn’t leave the room for a second, and for that she was grateful.
Rachel was a little bit panicked though; she didn’t even get to see the baby before she was taken away for tests. She was early and they needed to make sure everything was functioning well with her before they could hand her over to Finn and Rachel.
“It’s going to be okay, Rachel.” Finn told her quietly, breaking the silence. “She’s going to be okay. She’s practically you, babe. She’s the toughest around.” He chuckled, and Rachel finally opened her eyes. He sounded completely exhausted, just like she felt. He looked over at her, a small smile appearing on his face. “I’m so proud of you. You just brought this beautiful girl into the world… You’re incredible.”
“You’re incredible, Finn. Thank you for staying with me.” She didn’t want her dads there. She would save it for when her and Finn would have a proper child of their own. They were outside in the waiting room along with Finn’s mom and Burt. Finn was surprised to see that Kurt had also shown up, but he hadn’t told Rachel that yet.
Before they could say anything else, the door opened and in walked the doctors again, carrying a tiny, blanket-wrapped body. Rachel squeezed Finn’s hand tighter and bit her lip.
“W-What’s going on?”
“Well, Ms. Berry, we’ve run all the tests and here is your perfectly healthy, beautiful baby girl.” The female nurse said; coming over to her and handing her the tiniest human she had ever seen in her whole life. Rachel was sure she fell in love as soon as she saw the tiny sleeping face. It was all she could see in the tightly wrapped pink bundle. Her breath fell short and her expression softened, and the doctors told her they would leave the three of them alone.
The three of them. They were a family.
“Babe…” said Finn in awe, his eyes wide as he saw the tiny baby girl. “She has your hair colour.” Not only that, but she had similar skin colour and even her nose was quite like Rachel’s.
At first Rachel didn’t even notice the tiny hairs that were growing on her head. They were a chocolate brown colour, and Rachel could feel a lump forming in her throat just at the thought that this little girl looked like her.
“She’s beautiful, Rach. She’s you.”
“Lily.” Rachel said with a whisper, tears forming in her eyes. “She’s Lily.”
“Lily,” he repeated, squeezing her hand tighter by the second. “Lily Berry.”
“Lily Hudson,” she corrected, turning her head to look at her boyfriend as his eyes widened slightly, the tears falling down her cheeks now. “She’s ours, Finn. All ours.” She whispered.
“But you said –”
“I know what I said, baby,” Rachel said, making sure Lily was secure in her arms before taking Finn’s hand again. “But seriously? I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and there’s no one else I want to call Lily’s father besides you. You’ve loved her more than any man ever could, and really, if she’s mine, then she’s yours too. So, on that note…” She started with a smile; she looked down at her baby girl’s face. “Hey you…” She said in a gentle voice, being sure not to wake her. “This is your daddy. He’s not your real daddy, but he’s the best daddy and the best man that anyone could ever ask for, and I love him very much. So, say hi to daddy.” She said, beginning to hand her over to Finn.
He was in complete shock by the time he had Lily in his arms. He could feel tears of his own forming in his eyes – from Rachel’s speech and the fact that he was now the father of this baby. It was going to be official, on the birth certificate and everything.
Rachel watched silently as Finn took the baby into his arms, and she couldn’t believe how natural they looked together. Her two favourite people in the whole world were together, and she couldn’t have been more overwhelmed with happiness. “Also,” Rachel said, looking up at Finn with a smile. “Yes.”
Finn’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yes…?” He didn’t understand where it came from or what she meant, but he tried not to drop their child when she said what she did next.
“Yes, I will marry you.”
“Dances with three people just don’t work.”
“Says the man with two left feet. Come on, Finn, it’s our wedding night, and how can you say no to our daughter?” Rachel asked, a satisfied smirk forming on her face when she saw her fian- husband’s expression soften at their one year old daughter’s face. Rachel began walking backwards, Lily in her arms and beginning to sway back and forth on the dance floor. “Now come dance with your wife and child.”
Finn smiled, heading over to his two beautiful girls on the dance floor. He took Lily out of Rachel’s arms and held on to her tightly.
“Daddy!” She called out, his daughter’s tiny arms wrapping around his neck. Finn smiled warmly.
His other arm wrapping around her waist and resting on his wife’s ass. “Finn! There are children here,” she giggled, blushing under his gaze.
“There won’t be children later when we’re staying in the honeymoon suite, and none for the next week when we go to Paris.” He said gently in her ear, pressing a kiss on to her neck.
Rachel let out a quiet moan before shaking her head. Not in front of their daughter. “Finn, do you really think leaving Lily with your mother is a good idea? Do you really think she’s up to handling a one year old? And we haven’t been away from her for this long before,” she chewed on her lip with a worried expression. “Maybe we should’ve taken Kurt and Blaine’s offer.”
“Baby, relax.” Finn said, swaying to the soft music along with her. “My mom will be fine, and you are not going to worry about Lily on our honeymoon, especially when mom has already agreed to call every day with updates. And you’re beautiful tonight.”
She blushed heavily again and smiled. “Thank you, Finn. This whole wedding was amazing,” she sighed, leaning her head against his chest, her hand finding one of Lily’s. “I’m so proud to call myself your wife.” She looked down at her rings. One thing she knew for sure was that she was never taking
“I’m proud of you, Mrs. Hudson, NYADA student.”
It was true. With a lot of persistence and effort within the past year, Rachel had made it into NYADA with Kurt. Finn had yet to find somewhere to go, but for the first year in New York, he was going to make sure Lily was well looked after, before they could take her to a day care and Finn could finally go to school. Rachel was proud of Finn, putting their family before his future, even if she really wanted him to start looking into college options. “Thank you, Finn. I can’t wait to get to New York.” She sighed. It was only a month to go now.
“I love you so much, Rachel. So, so much.” His words muffled by her hair as he placed kisses there, one arm wrapped around her and the other wrapped around their daughter.
“I know, Finn. I love you too. And thank you, for everything.”
She didn’t think she could wait until he got home to tell him. She couldn’t stop smiling. She hadn’t been this happy until she received news that she was going to be starring in a brand new Broadway show. Before that it was when Lily was born. Lily. She was going to be so excited. It was all she talked about.
Rachel really didn’t like her days off all that much – she was without Lily who was at school and Finn worked there as a teacher now. At least they both came home at the same time and Rachel didn’t have to wait until 6 like most of her friends did for their husbands to come home. She was grateful for that. Finn being a teacher was something Rachel supported one hundred percent. He said he was inspired by Mr. Schuester and what he taught him so he wanted to teach that to kids as well. He didn't really want to deal with high school students yet, so he was starting off at Lily's elementary school, and he really did love his job. As did she, because she got to see him a lot more than she originally thought she would. Then again, she never thought she would be on Broadway either starring in her very own show.
Finn also taught at the local music school on some afternoons. He learned how to play guitar a couple of years back, and he taught children how to play, as well as sing. Rachel went down to watch him teach sometimes and it really warmed her heart. He was incredible with kids, which was why she couldn't wait to have kids of their own. Not that she didn't love Lily, because she was her whole entire world, but she would like to have a little boy with Finn's dimples.
Which is why she was so excited about this.
Finn arrived home a couple of hours later, without Lily, and then Rachel remembered that she was going over to a friend's house that afternoon until dinner time. This gave Rachel the perfect opportunity to tell Finn her news.
As soon as he opened the door, she leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs and arms around him, making him drop his bag, and holding him as tightly as she possibly could. She heard him chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Hey, you. I'm pretty happy to see you two, baby, but what's going on?" He asked gently, pulling back to see the brightest smile on Rachel's face.
"Come sit down, okay?" She asked, biting her lip and taking his hand, leading him to the couch and making him sit. She climbed into his lap and sighed, playing with the hair at the back of his neck as she looked into his eyes. "Finn, I have some news."
His eyebrows furrowed in the most adorable way possible, and it reminded him of high school, whenever she said something had happened, worry lines would appear on his forehead and she always made sure to kiss them away.
"It's not bad, I promise." She giggled, and he immediately relaxed beneath her.
He wrapped his arms around her waist again. "So, what is it?"
"Finn..." She took a deep breath, but she still couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I'm pregnant."
His eyes widened, trying to let what she just said sink in. No, there was no way. It can't be. They can't. It couldn't. "W-We're having a kid? Together?" He asked, a small smile forming on his face as he said the words out loud. "No way."
"Yes way." Rachel said, biting her lip with another giggle. "Finn, we're having a baby!"
"Oh my God!" He yelled out in excitement, getting up off the couch and taking Rachel with him, holding her bridal style in his arms as he spun her around the room, Rachel squealing in delight. She was so glad he was happy, and she was so glad he was finally going to have a child with her. She moved to wrap her legs around his waist and press his lips to hers hungrily. Finn's hands fisted the back of her shirt and her hands tangled in his hair. When they pulled back they were breathing heavily and Rachel leaned her forehead against hers.
"I really think it's a boy, Finn, I really do. And I hope he has your smile and dimples and cute, awkward dancing and your eyes," she whispered, running her thumb along his cheekbone. "I love you so much, and he's going to be all ours, okay? For real, this time. Lily is still our little girl but this baby is really going to be yours, and he's going to be perfect."
"God, I love you," he murmured against her lips, capturing them again in a heated kiss and before either of them knew it, they were back on the couch, and Rachel was tugging at her husband's shirt. "Rach, we can't..."
"Why not?" She breathed. "I'm already pregnant, and Lily's not here, there's no way we're going to get another opportunity like this." She whispered against his lips, gently beginning to suck on his bottom one to try and convince him. She couldn't help it, she wanted him all the time, and with Lily around it was hard to get moments like this.
"Hmm okay," he chuckled, smirking at her as he lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it behind the couch.
"And we both know pregnant sex is the best kind anyway," she teased, licking her lips and climbing on top of him once more.